Groundhog day

I have been in a thoroughly bad mood for several days now, so please don't bother me at all. I think its mostly to do with almost total lack of sleep and overwhelming exhaustion. I fell asleep on the sofa last night about 8 pm and slept for about 12 hours. Its not like me, I can usually go on and on and on, but not anymore. Even I am at the end of the line and I feel as if my reserves are totally gone. Its probably the time of year, but I fret that my life is disappearing and Ive done none and I mean NONE of the things I wanted to do. and no prospects of doing so. maybe its the very fact that I feel that my life is one gloriously large hamster wheel,  forever going round in the same direction makes me feel miserable. No hope for anything more interesting, no hope for all those things I so wanted. Every day is groundhog day, every day is groundhog day, everyday is ground hog day, every day is.......actually its next week isnt it!?

Snow. Jan. 2010.

Photos taken yesterday of Shankfoot in the snow. We had another 4 inches last night so its not going anywhere fast soon.

Stranger in the night

At 10.30 there was a sharp knock on the door which is almost unheard of in these part! Either it was the ghost of Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come (we've only just got through all that) or it could be robbers come to tie us up and escape with all our worldly goods (far and few between). But no, it was a very very tall man called Richard who had come in his super 4x4 to look at our oil situation. It was he who had spoke to my mate Jeremy! 'Don't worry I'll be back in the morning with 200 litres for your tank' he said. We sighed a huge how-can-we-ever-thank-you sigh and toddled off to bed. True to his word he arrived at about 10 this morning and popped the oil in for us. Gratitude poured from us like water from a well. We were so, so, so, so grateful and I'm not overdoing it here. With temperatures down to -10 overnight it was getting very, very cold indeed and now we have enough oil to see us through another couple of weeks.

We all know that society has gone to hell in a handcart or so we are told, and that every stranger is just waiting to get one over on you, mug you, rob you and would cross to the other side of the road rather than help. Northumberland isn't like that, we have had so much help from neighbours in the last few days, and here is a man I had never met before, who came all the way from Carlisle with oil for us and would not accept any payment apart from the actual cost of the oil. He runs a breakdown recovery service in Cumbria so if you get a problem you might want to call Richard from County Recovery. http://www.lubester.co.uk/index.html

Me and Jeremy Vine

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday I was tootling round the kitchen at lunch time once again feeding the Horde when Jeremy Vine announced, 'Call us if you've been affected by the snow', so I grabbed the phone and did just that. Actually I never for one minute thought anyone would pick up the other end. On occasions I have rung, its been far too busy for me. Anyway a very nice man called Andy answered and asked me about our situation. I explained that we were very very stuck and then he said I will put you on to Jeremy. So I told Jeremy our situation. 'Help' I cried 'we have no fuel left, its bloody freezing and we cant get out of our house, we are marooned with 4 small children.....' I should have but didn't also say I'm rolling around on ice in my wonderful RGK Performance chair but even this cant get through the snow and ice.( I need one of those of Beyond Boundaries ones I suppose.) My car is at my neighbours and there isnt a hope in hell of getting to it, letting alone driving anywhere.

Jeremy was concerned, of course he was worried for the children as I told my sorry story, but then we parted and said goodbye. 5 minutes later Andy called back, a man was offering to come and help us. A miracle had occurred and Radio 2 had spun their magic.

Later that day I was also interviewed by Look North our very regional news programme , who were obviously desperate for any plucky snow story, and then also called by the Hexham Courant who once again needed a comment. Well done the BBC, I had my 15 minutes of fame.

You too can listen to me once again courtesy of the BBC at http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/ about 40 minutes into the show.

Crap Isn't it?

Lets be honest her for a minute. When you think about it, disability is crap isnt it, and by the time you have experienced it you know how crap it really is, I mean it's probably much crapper than you first thought. Why am I saying this? Well at the moment, this very second as I write, we have been trapped in the house for 6 days, and its likely to be another 6. I send my husband out to plod around in the thick ice that is everywhere and make crunchy footprints in the increasingly crunchy deep snow. Our car is parked on our neighbours drive and he walks over and gets lifts to town in their super 4x4. I peer out the window and curse, gone are the days when I think how lovely it is, all I can see is the ice and bloody hell its so thick hes tried breaking it up with a hammer. It takes a lot of banging I can tell you. There will be no shopping, no post and the boys wont have school as we cant get them there and the bus cant get to us. Its more than a tad inconvenient. Its horrendously cold and our boiler is almost out of fuel. No oil delivery for us though, the tanker can't make it.

So I feel that this disabled lark is all totally too much and at times like this I feel a bit low in spirits, Id like to take the dogs out for a long crisp walk, feel the crunch under my feet and my lungs protest at the cold. Wheels just dont do it no matter how you try, Im too paronoid about all the things that could happen. So wuss that I am, I stay inside and feel like Ive turned into my grandmother. Perhaps I should get a sledge for next year and throw caution or myself to the wind.

GoodBye Old Friend

Over Christmas our dog died. Or rather I should say I made that decision after he was taken ill at the kennels. I knew it was coming, He was 14 and been with us since a pup. If you've had dogs you know some are just special. They have huge personalities that take over the house and its so quiet without him even though we still have the girls.

Goblin was a larger than life Beagle with a pink nose, pink ears and pink paws, who was untrainable, and a total menace. Goblin adored food, and he loved the children. His personality was terrific and he even had his own little fan club at the Vets. He was very well looked after by his friends at Capontree in Brampton and I know he had the best care possible, but I MISS HIM SO MUCH, he was MY dog.

The night he died he came to me in my dreams, I like to think he really did, he jumped up, wagged his tail and I cuddled and kissed his plush coat, and told him I loved him.

I still love all my dogs past and present, then stay with me forever and I hope one day they will be waiting for me and we will all take a long walk together once more.

Before Christmas

What is it with the month of December? Its an endless stream of activity before the inevitable collapse, and I am such a bah humbug at the best of times it doesn't help. Going to my sons school play never puts me in the best of moods, its not that I mind the whole Christmas jamboree, OK I suppose I do, I am slightly conscious of the fact I seem to take up at least 3 places, block other peoples view and am pushed to sit at the front where everyone can see me. In a funny sort of way I'm more of a sit and hide at the back kind of person. On the 19th of December we had our first major snow fall, and as we live on a north facing slope unless we get a quick thaw, the snow turns to ice and we are stuck. Our large car broke down again and the breakdown bloke couldn't get to us because of the ice so its still broken. Bloody cars I know I shouldn't have sold the 4x4 as my husband keeps telling me but I found it pretty difficult to get into which is a bit inconvenient. With 6 of us and a 5 seater car it meant hubbie had to take the train to my mums, I drove with the boys telling everyone gravely we went stopping as frankly there is no way I could get me and them out at the Services. With 2 inches of ice outside I was able to slide the car down in the full knowledge there was no turning back. It was a pleasant Christmas but I'm not sure I will go next year, I'm getting too old to deal with the crap weather.