Getting a Grip

Its no good, I have to admit it, the tendons in my right arm are well and truly f..cked if you don't mind me putting it like that. Ive know for a while as Ive struggler with bottles, jars, lifting heavy items, the kids etc etc. Ive branded the back of my hand this weekend with the bottom of a copper saucepan as I couldn't pick up without dropping it back again, and struggled with buttons, yes thats right buttons. Its almost time to admit to defeat I say as I wrestle with a packet of crisps before having to ask hubby to do the honours for me. Its all a bit pathetic. surveying the kitchen is like a scene from a care home. Ive got a kettle tipper as I cant even lift the kettle or fill it properly. I cant hold a knife to cut anything so don't give me a thick steak. I have to use 2 hands to drink tea. I need quite bit of help with fiddly things, with heavy things, my grip is poor and my hand hurts all the time. The tendons running from my elbow to wrist and into my fingers just don't work very well at all any more. I don't have much feeling in my fingers either which is a bugger and of course its my right hand which makes it all the more worse. I'm annoyed and frustrated, saddened and feel pathetic about it. Ive seen Drs and more Drs, they mostly go Hmmmmmmm, think about it and suggest cortisone. It doesn't work, Ive tried it, and although its successful for some people its been a while since its managed to have any effect on my arm at all. Ive had surgery suggested but no one thinks it will have any long term benefit either. Drs just feel they have to offer something. So now I'm using the heel of my hand a lot and getting used to a certain amount of left handed-ism. The problem is mostly about the fiddlyness of getting dressed, and the day to day running of the house which is proving problematic. Its hard using equipment when it hurts so much to use it, knives are a real challenge that I'm not sure there is a solution to. I'm just trying to make the best of it and there isn't much of that I can tell you.

The dangers of watching Peppa Pig!

You know when someone says to you 'Ive done my back in'?I now know what they mean as Ive done my back in, as if I hadn't already done so.

I was sitting on the sofa, really doing nothing, (watching Peppa Pig actually), went to shift myself off and that was it. Agony I mean absolutely the worse thing ever. I couldn't move forward, backward, up or down, I was stuck and in tears. Thankfully my husband was home and was able to come and move me back on the sofa and ply me with painkillers. After half an hour I was able to move very gingerly. And so it remained for a week. So bloody painful I could hardly move.  If you have kids, you know there is no time for being incapacitated, so I barely functioned for about 5 days through a haze of painkillers, deep breaths and gritted teeth. Half of me kept thinking I should see a Dr, the other half thought it would go away. To be honest if your body is really giving you all the 'something is wrong' signals you should heed it, but I'm the worst person at following my own advice. Eventually I decided to go to A and E. The choice is Carlisle or Hexham. Hexham is nearer but unless you have cut your finger they always send you to Newcastle which is 50 miles away. So I opted for Carlisle. On reflection it was a bad idea but I needed reassurance that it was only a trapped nerve or maybe a bulging disc. Got to the hospital and then waited and waited. Given my former history Id have thought Id have been seen fairly quickly. I know there are emergencies but honestly the number of people who sauntered straight in saying, 'Ive got a letter from my GP' was astounding. So I waited and waited and eventually had to leave without seeing anyone as I had to pick up child 1 from school. So maybe I should have seen my GP/ Then I could have got a letter as well.  Who knows? I guess only an MRI will really show if its anything to be worried about. My back is better than it was, but it still feels very sore and tender, so I think its only a question of time before it happens again. Next time I'm calling an ambulance.