Thursday, April 6

So whats wrong with you?

I dont actually mind telling people about me and how it is that I am as I am. Good job really I suppose otherwise I wouldnt be doing this! I tend to think that life is constant education, if I meet someone disabled then Im as curious as anyone else, so if they tell me about it then Im educated too. So really I dont have problem and tend to try to be as honest as possible, perhaps you'd noticed!? What Im not used to is the direct question. We are all terribly polite in Britain and it isnt really our way to ask bluntly what happened to someone. I try to throw bits of useful information into a conversation that sort of flags things up to people that Im ok with the situation, that they can ask me if they want to etc etc. It works well most of the time, but sometimes they beat me to it. 'So did this happen before you became disabled?' I was asked............'What!!??????' goes my brain..... can we have that again?! Big alarm bells fly around my head as I go ' errrr, arghh... well... cough... splutter..... splutter........' Then I feel myself go bright red... which I really hate, because Im more embarrassed because Im embarrassed, and hey Im trying to be so cool and laid back about the situation and now Im sitting looking as red as Ronald Macdonald. I havent really processed 'before' mentally so the cogs are turning real slow at this point. ' Oh Sure'.. I sort of squeak and mumble at the same time..... 'Yes, well, errr'. Is that the end of the conversation or is the person looking for me to volunteer more information? I just cant tell which makes me feel even worse as the conversation trails away...........................................

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