What could be the worst case scenario given that I cant walk and live in the middle of nowhere? You guessed it, breaking down in the car. But not only did I breakdown, I did so at 10.30 at night. Really it doesn't get much worse than that!
So, I'm pottering back home along the A69 when I start to hear a 'flap, flap, flap' sound. Fuck I think and stop the car. This is a difficult situation because although its late at night the A69 is a major freight route, so lots of big lorries going by. There is no way I can even contemplate trying to get out the car to take a look, so I decided to just make that breakdown call. I hope you remember that this is Northumberland and when I try to use my mobile, guess what.... There is no bloody signal!!!
Fuck fuck fucking hell, I've got no fucking fucking signal. I shout at the top of my voice. Yep those were my exact words. Basically I sat there for a few minutes mubling and shouting fuck in different styles and throwing a few Bollocks in for good measure, while I thought about what to do. By getting out the car I could guarantee Id be killed so this didn't look like a good option. Neither was shouting help out the car window an option either!! So what I did was basically shuffle, crawl and heave myself around the car at the same time having the breakdown number on redial and speaker. Eventually I found a rather contorted position in which I just about got a signal and I got through to a very crackly voice somewhere in a land far far away!! I explained my rather dire situation as well as I could to be told Id have help within the hour.....An hour?! Im a lone female cripple I need help NOW!!!!! Ok, thats not what I said, but I did think it. I shouldnt have worried, within 20 minutes the breakdown bloke has arrived and is mending my tyre, only to discover oh-oh, the spare is flat. Bollocks to that I thought and had a quick mental panic. Lets be honest, when did you check your spare? No one does do they?! So the guy takes the tyre off to the nearest garage to get it pumped up, leaving me alone in the car with only David Jacobs and Radio 2 for company!!! But fortunatly he wasnt long and gets me back on the road within another half an hour. I got back just after midnight!! Situations that I used to take in my stride as it were now have a whole new dramatic twist. Im not fearful but rather amazed at how life is now so different at times. For good measure heres a picture of the offending vehicle.
So, I'm pottering back home along the A69 when I start to hear a 'flap, flap, flap' sound. Fuck I think and stop the car. This is a difficult situation because although its late at night the A69 is a major freight route, so lots of big lorries going by. There is no way I can even contemplate trying to get out the car to take a look, so I decided to just make that breakdown call. I hope you remember that this is Northumberland and when I try to use my mobile, guess what.... There is no bloody signal!!!
Fuck fuck fucking hell, I've got no fucking fucking signal. I shout at the top of my voice. Yep those were my exact words. Basically I sat there for a few minutes mubling and shouting fuck in different styles and throwing a few Bollocks in for good measure, while I thought about what to do. By getting out the car I could guarantee Id be killed so this didn't look like a good option. Neither was shouting help out the car window an option either!! So what I did was basically shuffle, crawl and heave myself around the car at the same time having the breakdown number on redial and speaker. Eventually I found a rather contorted position in which I just about got a signal and I got through to a very crackly voice somewhere in a land far far away!! I explained my rather dire situation as well as I could to be told Id have help within the hour.....An hour?! Im a lone female cripple I need help NOW!!!!! Ok, thats not what I said, but I did think it. I shouldnt have worried, within 20 minutes the breakdown bloke has arrived and is mending my tyre, only to discover oh-oh, the spare is flat. Bollocks to that I thought and had a quick mental panic. Lets be honest, when did you check your spare? No one does do they?! So the guy takes the tyre off to the nearest garage to get it pumped up, leaving me alone in the car with only David Jacobs and Radio 2 for company!!! But fortunatly he wasnt long and gets me back on the road within another half an hour. I got back just after midnight!! Situations that I used to take in my stride as it were now have a whole new dramatic twist. Im not fearful but rather amazed at how life is now so different at times. For good measure heres a picture of the offending vehicle.
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