Munchausens Syndrome...

.... is a real condition where an individual feigns illness. Typically someone has a long long history of hospital admissions. The difference between Hyperchondria and Munchausens is that people with Hyperchondria genuinely believe they are ill while those with Munchausens know they are not and seem to do it purely for attention. Well that seems to be gist of the Wikipedia definition anyway. So why have I decided this was an interesting thing to talk about, well, its possible, nay likely I have come across someone who would clinically be defined a having Munchausens.

Lets call him Mr X shall we? Mr X turned up at our club a few years ago in a wheelchair after an accident. I never found out the nature of it, but he did seem to me to be rather unusual. Over the months he had various operations, was hospitalised with swine flu, had another operation, then had meningitis which precipitated a miraculous  recovery of his legs and was able to walk out the hospital upon recovery. In fact his recovery was so total he was seen carrying a fridge, yes thats right, out of a well known store.  Now I learn that Mr X has had some sort of tumour removed from some place in his body. Or not as the case may be, who knows? Oh I forgot that his house was blown up in an explosion.

So maybe Mr X is the unluckiest person in the north or maybe just creative. I dont know. I suspect I am right to be at least incredulous, what do you think?

Pain in the Neck.

I have been moaning for months, nay years that my neck hurts me. I mean, it really hurts at times as if I have been hit on the back of the head. Actually come to think of it I have, but the medical profession is like a dog with a bone, and wont leave a particular symptom alone until there is no life left in it. You keep telling them your neck hurts but, Oh no they are far more interested in... your feet for instance! Despite my moaning and groaning and kvetching and complaining, no one has really taken a 2nd look. That is until I got a new GP this year. It sometimes takes a fresh pair of eyes as well as an enquiring mind to solve a problem. When I told him about this constant pain in the neck he asked when Id last had an MRI scan. Not for a few years actually as I had a bout of having babies which always makes medics run away.  He nodded and I could almost hear the clock ticking inside his head as he decided to send me for a new scan. Consequently I was referred to the local BUPA hospital 2 days later.

I actually dont mind MRI scans at all. I know a lot of people find them dreadful but Im able to relax, listen to the hum and doze off. A week later we discussed the results. Interestingly I have moderately significant damage to C5/6/7 vertebrae which I suppose is an oxymoron itself. Can something be moderate and significant at the same time? Thats medico speak for you. Explains my hand problems and general am weakness. Nothing to be done. My GP just nodded sagely and gave me a copy. Im nosey, I like to know, he knows I like to know, but I have no expectations. One for the file I think.

Mastitis, a horrible thing.

Last week I was ill, in fact I was so horribly ill it was touch and go as to whether I would have an overnight in hospital. This was all down to mastitis, which I have never had before and hope never to have again. with all the symptoms of flu I did for a while think I was going down with it, but after realising I had none of the respiratory problems got my husband to call the doctor. She arrived at 11pm on a Saturday night and started antibiotics straight away. I was so hot you could have cooked an egg on me and my head was about to explode it was so painful. By morning although the bed was wet with sweat I was looking better than I was. I'm still taking the antibiotics but am a lot better than I was a week ago. It made me realise how lucky was are to live in an age where a few pills can effect an almost instant cure whereas it would have probably carried me off a 100 years ago.

My Ar*e!

.....as Jim Royle would say from that well known sitcom. Exactly, couldn't put it better myself because my arse is actually a real pain, Yes I'm a pain in the arse. I knew it would happen and while I don't get too many spasms as a rule, I knew once I hit the 6 months pregnant mark it was going to happen. And it has. The last 2 nights has seen me writhing around in bed, awake, asleep, awake, asleep, awake etc. My backside is killing me. I go from laughing like a maniac as only I could get buttock spasms to squealing loudly because bloody hell, it hurts. This is turn sets of my left leg which then hurts even more. If you've ever jumped out of bed with cramp, then its just like this only in my backside which incidentally is the largest muscle in your body. Consequently I dont know if to sit, lie,sit or lie, whatever position Im in, my bum protests!