Elias Nobel

And so after much moaning and grumbling over the last 9 months, Elias Nobel arrived at 8.30 on the 27th October weighing in at 7lb 9oz. It was from my point of view a speedy delivery, 3 and half hours at home with assistance from my 2 favourite local midwives who have looked after me through the last 3 pregnancies. It was wonderful and appropriate that they were able to see this one into the world. His name is Elias Nobel, both family names. Elias after my husbands gt grandfather who was killed in the bombing of Liverpool in May 1941, and Nobel after my grandfather and his father being Norwegian. So thats it I guess, family complete, we are not planning anymore...... but then we said that after the second one!

I haven't been well you know, I mean that sounds pretty pathetic doesn't it, but its been true for most of August. I saw the midwife a few weeks ago and she did some blood tests. They came back all over the place. First I had to go for a fasting glucose test in Hexham, be there for 8am they said. I had endless amounts of blood taken, still have multi coloured bruises all over my arms, but fortunately the results came back OK. Then they found my Haemoglobin levels were getting down to the bottom of the normal range, so now I'm taking iron tablets to boost it a bit. I have a high white cell count which proves Ive been fighting an infection, and Ive had a UTI which means I'm taking antibiotics. The final thing is that my blood pressure is on the up, which is a bit worrying as i could find myself having to have bed rest, so the hospital has threatened. Hmmm Im not amused, but at least you know why I havent felt like blogging much over the last few weeks.

Woodhorn

In a flurry of activity we decided to visit Woodhorn yesterday over by the Northumberland coast. Quick I shouted to the male members of the family, its NOT raining... And indeed I was right for it was dry for a whole day.

Woodhorn is a mining museum near Ashington. It opened a couple of years ago and Ive been trying to get there ever since. We got there and I realised that for once it actually looked promising. The whole area being more or less flat with tarmacked paths, this was more than I had hoped for.Its actually free to get in although you pay for parking. Inside theres are some great exhibitions loads of space for everyone to run round, a cafe doing light lunches and cakes, while outside you can visit a lot of the original buildings which have been made mostly accessible. There are further things to see plus you can stroll around the 60 acre country park. All in all we gave it more or less 10/10. Probably best to take your own lunch as the cafe gets expensive, other than that almost perfect!

Summer of Fun

I haven't written much lately as Ive been ill. Once we got back from holiday I went down with the most horrible cold and cough.... probably swine flu of course which has left me with a cough of consumptive proportions. Naturally I haven't been sleeping because of it, Ive become incontinent as the baby bounces on top of my bladder and Ive had horrendous bouts of sciatica which have left me literally crying in the arms of my husband. The weather has been grim and my garden ruined and waterlogged. Add to that a stroppy, bored, rude and endlessly nagging 5 yr old who really wants to be at school and you will see August hasn't been the highlight of the year so far.

Until I can get some rest I will probably continue to feel a bit sorry for myself because I'm tired. Not just tired, I'm shattered, knackered, worn out, frazzled. You can tell just how tired I am as i fell over getting into the car last week. With these things I never know how it happens its just a 'whoops' and I find myself head first, kneeling on the tarmac with cut knees. At times like that I have a bit of a cry, feel really stupid, and then resent the fact I'm sitting there by myself when I want someone to rush up and console me. Sometimes life doesn't seem to be a great barrel of laughs even though I know its better than the alternative.

The End of it All

Ive been thinking over the recent House of Lords ruling on suicide and what it means. Unlike the Daily Mail I don't believe it will suddenly make lots of old people or disabled people or anyone feeling a bit down fly off to Switzerland and get their friends and family to carry the luggage one way. No I think if you are so minded to kill yourself then you will do it or you wont do it. I have always thought I would cling on to life with my very last breath no matter what. My grandmother did, I know she didn't want to leave us because she kept telling my mother, but at the end she also said she could wait much longer. My other grandmother is still alive. I last saw her 6 years ago at her 90th birthday party. She was sprightly and active and delighted at the whole family gathering, she was also totally lucid and very nimble on her feet. Not long after that she fell and broke her hip so badly she never recovered. Her whole hip joint had deteriorated so much it had to be removed and as she no longer has a hip has been unable to walk. Basically that finished her off, and she rapidly declined into the world of senility. She is now 96 and lives in a home, she recognises no one and is pretty much unable to engage with any family member as she doesn't know who they are or has any idea where she is. I haven't been to see her for the reason that she wouldn't recognise me. Having said that she is still strong physically and her heart keeps going, I'm sure she will reach 100 . However I often think back to that party and wonder what she would have wanted for herself if she had seen into the future. Would she have wanted to be here at any cost or not? Obviously we cannot second guess her thoughts now, but as I think upon myself I am sure that if such a time came where I was unable to recognise my own children or husband then it would be better for all if they popped something into my tea, never to wake up. Its probably a horrible thing to think about too much but as Ive said before I don't worry about the dying, I do worry about the leaving but in that situation I would probably not realise what was lost.

Fat

Suddenly in a course of a couple of weeks gone from being pregnant but not as you'd notice very much to being hugely fat and rather incapacitated. I suppose I should be glad Ive managed to keep reasonably presentable for this long. But what I hate the most apart from the swelling elephant legs, flipper feet, is that my face is looking puffy and unsightly. I have the look of someone who eats a family size pizza, 2 litres of Ben and Jerry's, every night and then finishes this off with a large box of Roses just to be sure. The funny thing is though I actually go off food every pregnancy and end up losing weight by the end. I know that this fatness is water which doesn't actually make it any better at the moment, but a week after the baby arrives I should be back wearing my usual clothes. As it is I'm running out of things to wear at the moment, which doesn't do a lot for the self esteem, but only a couple of months to go now so I just need to keep my head down and keep an eye on the calender.

Rude and Unpleasant

Well our new kitchen is pretty much done. All we have to do when we get round to it is have some new flooring put down and do a bit of decorating and do some decorating. Not my main priorities right now though.

However I want to moan about the whole process. We had it done through a disabled improvement grant as the kitchen wasn't great and didn't look as if it had been touched in 30 years. My main issue was either everything was too high, or too low. In particular standard cookers are awful for reaching anything at the back, so my OT suggested that we apply for a grant. After about 6 months of tooing and froing, various designs it seemed it was all coming into place. That is until the man from the council stepped in. Now from the start I knew he was going to be trouble. As I did the very same job he was doing in the past I knew what to expect, good advice, empathy with the customer, getting a job well done, the best designs and courteous assistance. How wrong was I? This bloke was totally rude and unhelpful. He quibbled over every single penny and adaptation, like I didn't need it and was trying to get as much done as possible. Actually I was pretty much guided by my OT as to design and suggestions. This guy never bothered to communicate with us, only through 3rd parties. We only knew when the work was going to start/stop/start as the builders told us, because he didn't. Funding was given at the last possible minute with him quibbling over every penny to the last second. bits we removed from the original spec without any consultation with us or my OT. In short he couldn't be arsed with the whole thing, and frankly I think he either begrudged the whole process, telling me in the past a kitchen of 6 inches sq was considered adequate ( or some other small dimensions) or he viewed us as spongers on society who certainly didn't need or deserve a better kitchen. Make do and shut up. In short he had the worst attitude of a local government officer I have ever come across and that was with Northumberland County Council. The week after our kitchen was finished he retired. So I have no recourse to complain otherwise I would have wiped the floor with him. I only hope the person doing the job now is more approachable and friendly than he was. At the end of the day whatever you think of people you have a duty to give decent service. Most disabled people are not benefit scroungers living off the state, most people just want a decent quality of living and some hope in the morning when they get up. With any luck this guy will never become disabled himself or have a disabled partner, because if he does he will realise that the world is a very different place than the one he lives in now.

On Holiday

We had a good holiday, visited some excellent places, Slimbridge, Westonbirt Arboretum, the American Museum, saw family and friends and generally chilled out. My one gripe is accommodation, while we had a great place to stay I always end up having to compromise a bit as its virtually impossible to find somewhere that's affordable, accessible and suitable for a family. The assumption for holiday places is that if you need something a bit more adapted then you are elderly and ravelling with maybe one or 2 companions. the chances of being young and have children are virtually impossible. Well that's the perception anyway. So we had a great bungalow with an 8 inch step that I either had to hurl myself over (carefully) or have my husband play the strongman. Once in it was pretty good. Personally although adaptations do cost money it doesn't have to be a fortune and if I wanted to get maximum money out of a holiday let Id want as many people to come as possible. It only takes a few really happy people to tell their friends that they've found somewhere really accessible and hey presto you are full of bookings. So anyway remember disabled people don't have families at all, they are all single, elderly and can stay in a hotel room..........

It has to be said, pregnancy fries your brain. At the w/e I was chatting with a friend about age when she casually asked me how old I am, Older than you I replied and then told her. Only half an hour later on the way home I actually realised Id told her I was 2 years older than I really am. Surly this is a sign of the cerebral deterioration that happens in pregnancy. Normally though I realise I'm being daft even though I cant help it, on this occasion I didn't even blink when I told her, and the realisation only occurred later. I suppose its down to sleep deprivation, and hormones, not a sign of elderly dottiness just yet!

My Ar*e!

.....as Jim Royle would say from that well known sitcom. Exactly, couldn't put it better myself because my arse is actually a real pain, Yes I'm a pain in the arse. I knew it would happen and while I don't get too many spasms as a rule, I knew once I hit the 6 months pregnant mark it was going to happen. And it has. The last 2 nights has seen me writhing around in bed, awake, asleep, awake, asleep, awake etc. My backside is killing me. I go from laughing like a maniac as only I could get buttock spasms to squealing loudly because bloody hell, it hurts. This is turn sets of my left leg which then hurts even more. If you've ever jumped out of bed with cramp, then its just like this only in my backside which incidentally is the largest muscle in your body. Consequently I dont know if to sit, lie,sit or lie, whatever position Im in, my bum protests!

Kitchen Fever

The last week has been mayhem! At last after months of planning our new kitchen started to take shape. Designed with me in mind its going to be terrific , the only problem being that while it was being done I was pretty much a prisoner in my own home or out of it. Either way I couldn't get out the house and if I did manage it no way was I going to get back in. The kitchen is our primary way into the house and while there is a back door its pretty much impossible with out several Sherpas to get me up the step or 2, over the grass, down a step and over the bump, and through the door. Not to be recommended. The team of builders responsible for installing the whole thing took over the whole garden, patio and kitchen, we were going stir crazy and the chances of negotiating through the mayhem and making it safely to the car were slim. lets just say that since Thursday this is the first quiet day and we are loving it. the kitchen has basically taken shape with all the units ow in place. We have been able to put the food back in and start living like normal people. The builder will be back on Monday but I'm hopeful the worst is over.

Driving mad!

Image via Wikipedia

Any one who has followed this blog for a while might have realised that I change my car more often than most people change their socks. if I'm honest my excuse is that I like cars, a lot, and having certain needs these days means that I'm more fussy than I used to be. So I can now tell you that I have bought a ford Transit minibus, which might be excessive but given that we will soon be carrying 4 children 3 dogs 2 adults, a wheelchair and a double buggy, plus at any given time the possibility of a grandparent or 2 and you will see that space is of absolute importance! Ive spent that last few months dropping by various car dealers to inspect their 7 seater people carriers, and without exception that's all they do, carry people. There's no room for any type of luggage so that was the end of that.

I do my research thoroughly and after several reads of Honest Johns website and Parker's Used Car Guide decided the course of action. As luck would have it within a week or 2 ,up popped a suitable vehicle. Certainly its not particularly comfy, drives a bit like a tractor, is quite tatty inside but was previously owned by a Police Force. The boys love it, I dont have to worry about dirt, dog hair or food, it all brushes out, and there is bags of room. So if you see a red minibus heading your way, it might just be us!

Zemanta

Ok here goes, Im trying out a new application from Zemanta, which is supposed to make the blog bigger, better, bolder, and brighter. And so on. So Im hoping for great things!

Tendon Problems

Over the last couple of years I have had increasing problems with the Achilles tendons in my ankles. Despite regular stretching on a daily basis, exercises and physio, they are slowly getting tighter and tighter, more and more painful and causing me to have something called foot drop whereby I can no longer put my heels onto the footplate of my chair. In the long term i.e next year, something has got to be done about it if only as a form of pain relief. At the moment I'm at the point where I can't bear to have my feet touching the bed and have to have my legs propped up in the air to relieve the pressure on my tendons. Its actually quite unpleasant and various methods of pain relief haven't worked at all. I had a conversation with a surgeon a while back who offered me surgery. At the time I thought I knew best, 'Oh no not for me', Ive always been adamant but I'm getting to the point whereby the options might seem radical to you ,but should allow me some respite. So as it stands at this moment in time I could have my ankles fused, or my Achilles tendons chopped. Neither sound too appealing but I suppose from my point of view as Ive long given up hopes of walking Hadrians Wall its not such a bad thing. Still we shall see, but at the moment I'm going to have to put up with the pain for at least another 5 months. This I could do without.

Everyday things

Every day I think to myself, 'I must find time to add something to the blog'. As usual I have loads if ideas buzzing round my head and think it would be such a good idea if I were to jot a few down. The day flies by, I'm an Uber busy mother unfortunately, the 2 yr old spends hours demanding my attention which can be trying even though its lovely at the same time. The 5 year old has turned into a stroppy teenager already. The dog is elderly and doddery, walks into everything constantly and then keeps woofing to go out. My washing is endless, I spend eternity wandering around supermarkets, for they are the only places I ever seem to visit these days. By the time midnight approaches, I have tidied up, my husband wandered off to bed, made the following days lunch box, let the dog out again, fed the baby , and finally sat down, to be honest my brain has gone into some kind of automatic sleep state. Yes, I must admit that with an average of 4 hours sleep I am utterly worn out. At the moment there seems no end to it, which in itself is rather depressing.

Doctors huh?

I'm supposed to be having the next baby in Carlisle, assuming I get there in time that is! So last week I went for a scan and then to my surprise as no one had told me I had a follow up appt with the registrar. So she said the consultant wants to know what we can do to help you....? Hmm thats quite difficult as I'm on number 4 and so far they tend to pop out pretty quickly, but I did say, DON'T put me on my back... so you are OK on your side then she replied? NO, not at all ,its agony, just dont do it I said. What is it with doctors? I have had 3 totally uncomplicated births, infact its one of the few things I seem to be any good at, and the medical profession want you pinned onto a bed with your legs in the air. We all know that's the worst place to be so why do they do it? My guess is that its control thing, I mean no one wants a ward full of women wandering around in labour do they? Well maybe I could either have a water birth or maybe someone would for once give me an epidural? Main problem being that it might never wear off, which come to think of it might not be too bad a thing after all.

And so after several weeks I am hopefully back to blogging normality. My hope for the rest of the year is to have a quiet life. Uneventful, even boring. Somehow I don't suspect that is going to happen. Every week my calender fills up with appointments and I don't know how. I mean they are usually people wanting to see me not the other way around. As it is I never get to go where I want to at the moment. Life is like that I suppose

Busy Busy

Life has been soooooo hectic I haven't had chance to post anything for a few weeks. My husband is currently in Israel enjoying himself. I am at home alone with the boys. My mother is here but she is in bed with an attack of gout so I'm looking after her as well. Life isn't great this week, I am rushed 'off my feet' and haven't had a break for a week. Haven't actually got out the house since Friday either. Its been a really dull half term and I long for something exciting. I mean I could REALLY do with a holiday but this year that's not on the agenda, so I'm trying to be Pollyanna and being super cheerful. I don't feel it one jot. My husband returns Thursday morning, I shall be so glad to see him as absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Loos.... Yeughhhh!!!

I had to, and I mean HAD TO use the disabled loo at ASDA last week and my goodness it was a disgusting experience. Now I'm not moaning at Asda, I'm having a go at the people who use the facilities. I want to know why people use disabled loos and then leave them in a really gross state??? Acceptable is it? Either they are full to overflowing, because hey, if you are disabled you cant possibly know how to use the flush, or they end up peeing all over the floor and I have to roll through it. Perhaps its able bodied people using them, who knows, Im past caring who the culprits are, just flush the bloody thing and leave it decent for the next person.

For some reason I don't recall ordinary ladies loos being quite as bad as this, so why do people do it with disabled loos? Are their own lavatories as vile at home? Somehow I think not. The offending loo in ASDA smelt so bad I almost thew up, the stench was overpowering. Why, why, why, leave it? As you can guess this makes me absolutely furious, if I ever ever came across anyone who left toilets like this, Id end up slapping them until they begged for mercy.

Life is sort of quiet, so that may be a good thng, its the reason I havent blogged much. Its not that Im not busy, Im actually overflowing with domestic stuff, but nothing much is happening at the moment, life chugs on and I suppose thats something to be enjoyed.

Bah!

April was a horrible month and that's the reason I haven't blogged much. We've had bill after bill, and everything that could break down has. Added to that severe financial crisis as expected money has not arrived and I'm just a tad stressed. My head of course tells me that it will all work out, and logically I know it well, but my heart is doing a screaming headless chicken act.

Mañana, mañana

Sometimes I'm really hopeless as a cripple, I mean Ive been rolling round the house in my indoor chair for months and months with a flat tyre. Its not that I don't know how to change a tyre and mend a puncture, if I'm really honest I cant be bothered. Sure its a bit annoying at times, But I really cant get round to sitting on the floor and then spending endless time grappling with the wheel. getting the thing on is pretty straightforward as I have a wonderful gadget called the SpeedLever, it works every time, but getting the whole thing on is always a struggle no matter what. So you can see everyday I think to myself 'I must fix this, I'll do it tomorrow' only tomorrow hasn't come yet. Lazy aren't I?

An Announcement

I haven't written much in the last few weeks because to be honest I haven't had much to say. Life has been pretty much endless bed, washing children, bed, washing, cooking, driving children and so on and so on. Not that there is anything wrong with that but it doesn't exactly make for great reading. Anyway I thought it was about time to make my BIG announcement. OK now are you sitting down.... because hey guess what Im pregnant!!!. Hmmm haven't we done all this before, isn't there at least a sense on deja vue perhaps? I admit rather sheepishly that if you look back to my beginning of the year posting, having a baby was definitely not on the schedule for 2009, only it is now. I know you must be wondering 'what were we thinking?' Our families certainly are, but as Ive found out over the years life never turns out how you expect. Ive learnt to take it all with a smile, embrace everything that comes my way and even look forward to it. So Hersh mini-minimus is due at the end of October and we are all looking forward to his/her arrival very much.

Not that Bad

Just lately people have been saying a lot of things to me, well maybe I'm just remembering them more, but yesterday a friend said to me, 'Of course you never expected to end up in a wheelchair did you?' 'Not perhaps one of life's aspirations' I replied, but then I thought, actually its not that bad, not that bad at all. The way she said it was as if it was the worse thing she could ever ever think of happening, and I suppose I resent that a bit. I resent her thinking that my life must be terrible because a lot of the time, certainly in general day to day activities, I don't really give it much thought. Maybe she sees me as just the sum of the wheels or something like that. Of course I rant and moan about access, and still feel quite self conscious at times, but in the day to day business of real life I really don't think about it at all. I just felt rather annoyed that this was her perception, that my life is so bad, because that couldn't be further from the truth.