Thursday, November 8
Sometimes you just have to accept that you cant always do what you want, even though we go on about how society makes us disabled, occasionally we just have to go with the fact that we are actually, really and truly, disabled in some way.
A close friend of ours died at the weekend and while it was not totally unexpected I shall miss her and the world is certainly a lesser place without her. So we have been discussing what to do about the funeral. We are in Northumberland, the funeral in Bristol. Its a round trip of just about 600 miles and thats not easy at the best of times with small children. Add into the mix me, and a husband who cant drive and its not easy. At times like this we suddenly realise the public transport system in this country is more rubbish than we ever believed, so I can drive or we can fly. Id sort of assumed that Id be going as well but he said' you know I don't think you need to come'......Oh yes? I said, he started to squirm just a little bit, 'It might be a bit difficult with you in a chair, and well I don't want it turning into a side show'. At first I was rather surprised at this but as I thought about it hes got a bit of a point. The whole point of a funeral is to celebrate a life, not detract from the proceedings by having me there. Sadly I know in my hearts he is right. I know most of the people who will be there and I would become a great talking point. Its not the place, not at a funeral. Is he embarrassed? Yes I think he is, but I don't think he should him be embarrassed by being embarrassed after all its a normal reaction. But after some reflection I will be staying home.