Thursday, January 24
I have a reputation for being quite strident which makes me sad really. I don't see myself like that at all, but on the other hand I know it to be true. I don't mean to be like this at all, but a few years ago I just decided that an 'honesty is the best policy' approach was best. What I mean is that I was always being asked questions that were difficult, insensitive, personal or sometimes even rude. I tried to be as tactful as possible with people and not to assault their sensitivities, but the problem I found is that people often need to be banged over the head with a fact before my situation gets into their heads. An instance could be how my disability affects me. I used to be quite cagey, I don't know, I tended to minimise the effect because I didnt want it to appear too bad, probably as much for my benefit as anyone elses. But the trouble is unless you are really honest with people they really don't have an idea what you are talking about. So now I tend to look people in the eye and say things like Oh I cant pee anymore ha ha... They look at me and then think about it but then you can see that they start to think of the wider implications of this and why I have to be able to get to some sort of accessible loo more than most.
My father in law doesn't seem to be able to understand the whole concept. I have no idea why he cannot grasp the fact that on an accessibility scale his large 3 floor Victorian Villa rates about 2 for me. He doesn't get the fact that his loo is so minuscule that I'm never going to be able to use it, the fact that the steps up into his house are purgatory, the several large flights of steep stairs impossible and the fact that he also has several hidden steps around the place he probably doesn't even notice. Despite my husbands explanations he seems to be unwilling to understand why we don't want to stay with them. Those are the people Ive given up on. However it seems most people are willing to be educated, in fact I only really get positive responses on the whole. So I may come over as being strident, but really its all a bit of an act to make me feel just that little bit more confident about myself.