Sweet Abey James

Yes its been a couple of weeks BUT I have been busy giving birth so I have good reason not to have been to busy on the blog front.

Anyway last week I went to see the midwife, and at this point the swelling in my legs was horrendous and my blood pressure was on an upwards climb. She didn't like the look of it and neither did I to be honest. I think you should pop over to Hexham for a check over tomorrow she said. I muttered something about being 'busy' and she gave me that don't-argue-with-me look which meant I was defeated before I started. This baby really needs to come out now she told me. I knew that was the case. I was tired to death, bloated, teary and fed up. Who says 9 months isn't a design fault?

Roll forward 12 hours later and its 5 am. I woke up early thinking, Hmmm this could be it, I think Im having contractions. Reaching over for the clock I thought timing them would be a good idea as they did seem quite strong to me to be just early labour. Every 3 minutes. Not as early as I thought. So by 6am I was shouting to my husband, Call the midwife, and I sat in the bath and waited. By 7am I was shouting is she bloody here yet??!! I needed some pain relief by now when suddenly 2 midwives appeared at once. The next 2 hours just seemed to fly by and then at 9.15 with one push Abel James Hershon flew out with a loud 'POP'. And I mean flew, the midwife only just caught him from landing on the bathroom floor such was the speed of his entrance into the world.

I was done in, my husband over the moon, and stood holding his little boy.

However, (there are always howevers in these sort of stories), about 20 minutes later things started to go wrong. I was looking at him when I noticed he was gasping and his feet were turning blue. Is he OK I asked in a pathetic manner? With that the midwives jumped into action administering oxygen, listening to his heart and basically getting him going again, while I just looked on and gawped. My husband was sent off to dial 999 for an ambulance and I did absolutely nothing. I was redundant, not needed.

Not only did one ambulance arrive but 2 , and my baby was whisked off before I even had chance to cuddle him. You go I told my husband in my super stoic, best stiff upper lip manner. I'm fine. And I was then.

I spent the next 2 days home alone, just me and the dogs. The boys were with a friend , my husband and baby at the hospital. I spent 2 days taking endless phone calls from people I didnt want to talk to being cheery and optimistic and having them all tell me I was marvellous. Nothing felt marvellous actually, nothing at all.

Everyone is home now. My baby is here, its a week on and I'm allowed to cry now, so Im making up for lost time.