The last scrap of dignity

Lets recap shall we? Our intrepid heroine (thats me) finds she has somehow slipped into the parallel world of 'the disabled'. Unable to find a way out she learns that life isnt always what you expect and indeed is sometimes a lot worse!!

So Monday was one of those days that will go down in my diary of life events. It wasnt one that I was particularly eager to try, but hey, has anything over the last few months been what I expected?!! I arrived at the hospital to find my consultant hovering around reception waitiing for me, which I should have realised there and then was a bad sign. If they do this then they are worried about you believe me. So I was left to get changed into one of these lovely little blue gowns and then hoisted up onto the bed. First scrap of dignity went marching out the door at this point. Now Im trying hard to give you all an idea of my trials without giving just that bit too much information. So 3 tubes were stuffed into my bladder and basically Im pumped out. Total volume 900ml. This doesnt bode well as it should be around 300ml. It takes ages as well so its amazing the sort of chit chat that goes on during this time. Next stage is to fill me up again. Yep thats right I get to have water pumped in while I have to answer a set of questions. Oops some more dignity has flown away! Things like, 'Can you feel it?'.. 'Do you need to go yet?' etc etc. The answer was of course 'No' on my part, so by the time we got to 1000mls we decided that it was best to call a halt as I really didnt want to explode. Now that would be awkward! Finally I was asked if I could go.... after some thought I decided this was pretty much an impossibilty. At which point my final shred of dignity got up stalked out the door muttering about 'indignities' under its breath!! At this point Im suddenly shameless, believe me if I wasnt before I certainly am now.

The results of this were discussed in serious tones with me about what should be done, why this is happening... I do know actually, Im not dim.... and so on. Its food for thought I can tell you. Looks like Im heading for a life of complications which is bloody unfair as Im not halfway through yet.