Sunday, October 1
To make up the hat trick of hospital visits this week, I saw a new neurologist Friday. Now at the risk of sounding like a rampant racist I don't care too much for Asian doctors as a whole. I find they tend to be rather cold, humourless and brisk. I know that's a generalisation but its my experience anyway, and combine it with the specialisation of neurology, you get a cold humourless, brisk medical megalomaniac!! I suspect its a cultural as well as a certain language barrier that comes into play, but I much prefer my team of healthcare professionals to at least have a smile or 2.
So I spent a good 2 hours undressed while they carried out the usual tests. These involve being poked with pins, testing my reflexes and lots of other stuff. Actually I don't know why they keep doing it, it would be enough to have read my notes Id have thought, but no, just make me jump the hoops.
At the end of all that I had my time with Dr Big. To be honest as with most of these appointments these days I'm never quite sure why I'm there, so I'm fairly easy come easy go. Seems the main reason for being there is to see if they can get my bladder functioning again. I think its a long shot but never say never huh? And of course the medical profession never like to say they cant do anything else. He starts off by talking to me as though I'm about 7, about my traumatic spinal cord injury. Basically as soon as he says this my attention has gone. I'm sort of still sensitive to this and its all I can really hear. I guess to me is the verbal equivalent of having a cup of ice cold water thrown in your face. Spinal cord injury, spinal cord injury, spinal cord injury, spinal cord injury, its just, so, well, unbelievable at times. I mean when I think about it how on earth did I ever get to this point in my life? This wasn't supposed to happen, good grief this is like watching something on tv, its like being in a different time, and a different place, its not the here and now. Let me say right now, this sort of thing just doesn't happen to me, I mean NOT ME surely!?
So as you can see, I still get a bit touchy about the whole thing. Most of the time I think I'm fine about it, and I am, but then someone with no sensitivity comes along and I feel like I'm a startled rabbit all over again. Mentally I feel like I'm drunk in that this seems a long way away, its like a story, its not about me though.
No decisions were made, no prognosis announced. They wanted to admit me as a day patient to do more tests, but I said no at the time so its going to be sometime in the future. I don't care actually, leave me alone I want to get on with my life. So shall we say about 10 months from now then?