Thursday, December 7
A day on and I'm feeling reflective. I don't know what I think about this really I don't. Maybe its a bit drastic, I don't know, but thinking over the last few months it was probably necessary action.
It seems odd to wake up with a large bag hanging just under your bed. Slightly unreal actually. I mean isn't this sort of thing for really disabled people? I was worried Id turn over too hard in the night and yank the thing out. Of course nothing dramatic happened as I don't really move about that much when I'm sleeping these days anyway. When you think about having a bag, if you think too hard you feel pretty horrified, after all isn't this sort of thing just about everyones worst nightmare? Well it seems to be happening to me, and I wouldn't say its a nightmare, more an experience perhaps?
Today was a day for pottering about. I sat on the bed and read all the literature I was given, and then a box of equipment arrived from Charter. Only ordered yesterday as well. So I went through the bits and pieces and tried some things, left others. Ive used a few bags today as being a bit 'scientific' Ive been trying to see how it all works. Mad huh?! Ive also tried some of the day with a bag, and some without. At the moment I think I'm feeling just that bit more comfortable anyway. People think if you have a catheter like this then you feel it all the time. Well its not like that for me as I wouldn't be able to feel it anyway. I know its there, I'm aware of it and the bag, but I don't think I can feel it.