The Blame Game

If only..... If only I had not......

How often do we hear that, or say it ourselves? When disability strikes do we blame ourselves or do we look to others, or maybe we just have to accept that some things are out of our control? Blame I think, is part of the grieving process, which psychologists identify as 5 distinct parts

1. Denial... 'OMG you cant be serious, this cant be happening to me.'
2. Anger...Verbally assault everyone around you, the closer they are the worse they get it.
3. Bargaining... the 'if onlys' and the 'please God I will do whatever you ask of me.'
4. Depression... Prozac or do you just want to talk about it?
5. Acceptance... Life goes on.

Crikey, now I write it down I can see Ive been somewhere along all those roads at some point and now for the most part am out the other side of it all. However sometimes the jabbing pointy finger comes out and then I'm very very angry. I still do get disproportionately angry sometimes, and I admit to anger issues for what seems to be no particular reason, perhaps that's just the way I'm wired. But one thing I have learned is not to do the blame game, I try never to blame an individual, Im angry at life, but life for the most part is no ones fault. We make the best choice we can with the information we have at the time. People do take risks and more often than not they come off. Its the occasion they don't, or we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Should we blame ourselves? I think not. Personally I tend to believe in Fate, destiny or whatever. No one knows whats round the corner, but if you can live life to the full without blame or unfullfillment it is I think the best you can hope for.