Saturday, December 18
I am Fat :(
I am fat, or maybe it should read I am fat? I look at photos and cringe because unless I suddenly lose half my body weight I'm always going to look fat. Even though I know that pound for pound I am not considered fat , in fact I'm just about right I look wobbly. I haven't put any weight on for years, and I even lost weight with every pregnancy. But still I look it and crikey it does nothing for my self esteem whatsoever. Yes I know I have shoulders that Atlas himself would be proud of, a family member did actually comment that I was rather broad across the shoulders but thats probably not surprising as I spend all day lifting weights in the form of little boys. However I no longer have any muscle tone and its depressing. The flabby bits are muscley flabby bits not fat flabby bits, and even though I'm aware thats its a fairly common problem it doesn't make me any more cheerful about it. I still look fat, and actually when you are sat down all the time you look even fatter. I really need to do about 100 sit ups a day which when you consider I cant actually sit up from a lying position without a bit/lot of help thats not going to happen and although I don't consider myself to be particularly vain, I do suffer from quite painful self consciousness, which really isnt the same thing at all. I need a makeover, I really do.