Saturday, December 18

I am Fat :(

I am fat, or maybe it should read I am fat? I look at photos and cringe because unless I suddenly lose half my body weight I'm always going to look fat. Even though I know that pound for pound I am not considered fat , in fact I'm just about right I look wobbly. I haven't put any weight on for years, and I even lost weight with every pregnancy. But still I look it and crikey it does nothing for my self esteem whatsoever. Yes I know I have shoulders that Atlas himself would be proud of, a family member did actually comment that I was rather broad across the shoulders but thats probably not surprising as I spend all day lifting weights in the form of little boys. However I no longer have any muscle tone and its depressing. The flabby bits are muscley flabby bits not fat flabby bits, and even though I'm aware thats its a fairly common problem it doesn't make me any more cheerful about it. I still look fat, and actually when you are sat down all the time you look even fatter. I really need to do about 100 sit ups a day which when you consider I cant actually sit up from a lying position without a bit/lot of help thats not going to happen and although I don't consider myself to be particularly vain, I do suffer from quite painful self consciousness, which really isnt the same thing at all. I need a makeover, I really do.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you mean! I'm actually average weight too, but sitting in a wheelchair that has a lot of dump, plus having no muscle tone to hold bits where they should be doesn't help in the shape dept. at all! Add to that my spine just bending in all kinds of curviness (imagine holding a marshmallow between your thumb and index finger and squishing it until it is short and fat) just adds to the problem.

    I am almost a whole foot taller when I hold myself up so I'm still sitting (and a lot smaller around the middle)! Oh to have muscle control again...