Thursday, January 13

Best Friends

The world is a small place. Remember when you were growing up, how we couldn't even imagine the world of cyberspace, skype, e mail, iphone, wiki-everything? Its was something out of Star Trek or Dr Who. Now we take it for granted, and those friends you used to know have tracked you down on Facebook, sometimes its a blessing, sometimes its not. To be honest I don't have many friends, my husband tells me I must have a bit of a personality disorder, No I say I just like different people, I don't like shopping, I read and watch science fiction, I like mechanical things and I'm a land mine of facts, which is all a disadvantage for a woman! Looking at it that way he might have a point. No I just march to my own tune through life. Well what I wanted to mention here is that I have this friend who remains my friend after so many many years its frightening to think about it. We met at university and ended up sharing a house for 2 years. The funny thing is our lives have take a totally, and I really mean completely opposite paths. Yet through all these years, we have managed to keep in touch, write, phone, visit e mail and Facebook each other but time has marched on and we hadn't seen each other for some years. Too many.
Last summer he was in England, so I said OK I'm coming to have lunch with you. meet me and lets talk. I find these things hard, Ive mentioned it before, meeting up with old friends is like opening a wound, its painful for me and difficult. I give a fantastic impression of being so confident but its a bluff a lot of the time. I'm self conscious of myself, awkward and flap around a lot beforehand. I worry how I will be judged, pitied, humoured. Its happened to me really, its the people you usually expect more from, the ones you trusted most, they are the ones who avoid looking at you in the eye, the ones it hurts the most.
My friend turned out to be the same funny, nice intelligent thoughtful guy I shared a house with and most importantly he was kind without making me squirm in embarrassing. He didn't pry or avoid my eye, he didn't ask terrible questions or shy away from conversation, we were just old friends picking up after a while. He sat and talked rather than making me look up all the time, walked slowly so I could keep up and gave me a shove when I needed it. We shouldnt leave it so long next time.

The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.   Ralph Waldo Emerson