Saturday, July 29

Small Voices

I have in my head 2 different voices. There is the pragmatic voice of reason and probability, and then there is the squeaky little voice of hope and possibility. They fight constantly in my head but usually reason wins through. The thing is I have an appointment in Newcastle on Tuesday to have a look at the possibility of having made to measure leg braces. These might help I've been told. So far I've only used off the shelf ones, but as these are mostly designed for athletic men with sports injuries and being a short female with legs like inverted champagne bottles then we don't have best fit here. So what's the point? Well the theory is they might help me to stand up long enough to do something useful, but then again might not. Now apparently the Laws of Physics comes into play here, the shorter your legs the more difficult it is to get an effective brace because there are greater forces on the joints. To be honest I don't want to go, I don't want to go down this route, I just don't like it full stop. So far I have used braces with no effect whatsoever, they have made my legs sore, don't help me stand up, make me feel unfeminine to put it mildly and makes it look as if I don't have ny legs at all. Well, there I have plenty of good reasons not to go, and its a schlep to Newcastle, I hate going there. What I don't like is the might and maybes, Id really just like someone to say this is as good as it gets.....be honest....I wont mind really but I'm tired of medical appts, tired of seeing hospitals, tired of being an idiotic nodding dog when I'm being spoken to, tired of being poked up the bum, tired of the whole damn thing. So maybe just maybe I will decline the appointment, maybe I will stay home, maybe I will make my own choice. But says the voice of hope, maybe I should give it one last try........

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