Sunday, February 14

Valentines Day

means 'Love is all around'. Actually it means we are beaten and berated by the card and flower industries into guiltily sending them to those we are supposed to love all year round. 
As you and I both know disabled people are these small alien creatures that don't have romantic relationships and certainly don't ever ever ever have sex. Like some sort of religious icon, disabled people are well, their own species. occasionally you might come across a married one, but they marry within their own kind. Remembering that they are in fact totally asexual anyway, because thats what happens when you have a disability, they never ever have children because that would be just unthinkable wouldn't it? Finally, although you think they are probably OK, you must make sure your son doesn't bring one home, because you just wouldn't know what to say to him or the neighbours.
Amazingly this is a summary of attitudes I continue to come across. On the one hand the majority seem to accept single sex relationships a lot more easily in 2010 but disabled romances still seem well, difficult. I had a man say 'God bless you' in Morrisons last week, I was carrying the baby, my husband steering the other one round in the trolley. I smiled becasue he meant well and I try to live my life in a Jewish way that doesn't make people feel bad even though I'm irritated to hell and back. Most people almost collapse when I say I have '4 of these' becasue its amazing enough for a disabled person to have 1 child right?
So it seems society still has a major problem with disabled people actually giving and receiving love. Its something I find impossible to understand why. Our capacity for love is what marks us out from every other species on the planet. Remember, its the last thing most people will ever say to loved ones. 'I love you forever and ever'. Even in the most tragic of circumstances its what we want to give and receive the most. Even disabled people.


  1. Anonymous18:18

    Lorraine, even being not disabled, people collapse when you say you have more than one or two children! You can begin with first aid when you say you have six.

  2. Hi again: I haven't been to your blog for quite a while I'm sorry to say. I mean to keep up more often from now on.
    I will have to do some reading to catch up with your posts. I'll be back.
    Pat :-)