Sunday, September 24
Meet the Relatives
Like I said, running the gauntlet of family get togethers can be a bit awkward for me, but actually I think it might be more awkward for others. After all it certainly can be difficult to make conversation with a disabled person.
So how are you?
me: Fine fine.
You certainly look cheerful.... Doesn't she always look cheerful? I don't know how you do it.......
me: Oh well... (nervous laugh)...better than being miserable I suppose.
God I hate this sort of conversation. Its small talk and it seems so pointless, even though I try to be charitable it does wear a bit thin at times. I mean do they expect me to say something else? Then it goes on....
So do you sit in that all day, or do you get up and have a little walk round you know?
(me thinks: Yes I'm sitting here all day because I'm too bloody idle to walk round, Why walk when I can get my 2 year old to push me... What DO you think?)
me: well I mostly sit here these days as I do tend to fall over quite a lot (why even try to explain?).
Oh it must be terrible.....
Like I say a thousand times NO ITS NOT TERRIBLE, BUT CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS ARE DEFINITELY LIKE HAVING TEETH PULLED!!!!
Gosh see how frustrated I get? Its like banging your head against a brick wall, very.......very.......Slowly sometimes.
Then of course there is the saying goodbye. My husband is always mobbed by the relatives, kisses, hugs, hand shakes, but me? Not anymore, its that awkward sort of hover around me a bit but not sure what to do. Touching me might be very awkward after all. I might disintegrate, cry, shriek with pain, fall out my chair, see its a minefield waiting to happen? Very rarely does anyone actually bother to bend down give me a hug and say Bye, like they used to. I can think of maybe one or two people who have done it, and boy was I shocked because I've got used to seeing everyone at a look but don't touch distance these days.