Monday, April 30
Only days to go now, and not a moment too soon. I feel as if Ive been pregnant forever, I'm sure most women do but its probably even more pertinent in my case. At the moment my husband is my carer, there is no two ways about it, he is caring for me and helping me on every personal level. I don't like it for sure but I have such acute back pain I'm truly incapacitated. I cant sit up, sit down, roll over or really move about without his assistance. Its not great I have to admit. I'm not good at just being, though I'm trying hard not to push myself too much. Im finding it hard to sit at the computer and am spending quite a lot of time lolling around bits of furniture in a semi prone position.
I'm starting to get nervous about the birth. I wanted an epidural originally, but that was met with lot of faces and sucking of teeth, no one is keen to do it and if I insisted Id have to go to Newcastle which is the last thing I want. But no one can really tell me what I'm going to feel. Some say I wont feel as much as last time, and others tactfully suggest that the whole thing is going to be just excruciating. Given my current level of pain and discomfort I'm expecting the latter. So its not much to look forward to is it? To be honest I have that horrible tummy flutter that makes me feel like I'm about to go over the top! I know this event is coming up quickly now and I hope I have the physical strength to get through it.