Monday, May 21
Tired tired tired
If you know Me personally and I owe you a phone call or e mail, then let me grovellingly apologise, I haven't forgotten you, I'm just exhausted! I will be in touch asap promise!
So I have a lovely son who sleeps all day and then is awake all night. Its hard at 3 am let me tell you, I don't think Ive had more than about 2 hours at a time sleep for a week now and its taking bit of a toll.
Oh you look great everyone says, well I have this knack of looking wonderful despite whats really going on with me, so people are always shocked if I say otherwise. Its actually hard to even persuade anyone I'm not fine. Really I should look like shite! That would help.
At the moment I'm battling the return of pain. Id sort of expected to be pain free once the baby was born, stupid huh? But whats returned is now more of the old neurogenic pain only sharper and more acute, and combined with lack of sleep and its making me feel paper thin. I'm trying so hard not to verbally rip my husbands head off because frankly hes been a superstar of late, so it would be nice of me to treat him as he deserves.
I have been blase about this disabled parenting lark. Oh yes Ill be fine is always my motto and while I know that everyone always manages in the end I don't feel that confident tonight.