Wednesday, June 20
This disability thing can be a lonely life. Well it seems that way, its hard to keep up the intimacy of friendship when you only ever meet friends on neutral ground. I spend my life meeting people in Tesco and I'm really sick of the place. No one ever invites you to anything once the wheelchair has to come long too, they seem to assume you cant go, get in or wouldn't want to anyway. The invitation would be nice and who knows it might be more possible than people think. Worth a try anyway. So its hard to keep old friendships going and even harder to make new ones. Perhaps its because I lack mutual ground with people, certainly things have shifted, but perhaps not as much as people assume. Maybe its shifted more for them than me. I dont know, but I'm tired of feeling left out, feeling as though I'm sitting on the sidelines. Only that's the trouble I am sitting on the sidelines. I think its hard for my husband even more in some ways. His friends never invite us anywhere either and with about 2 or 3 exceptions I don't think Ive seen the inside of anyones house in a long time now, well, seems like that anyway. No invites to lunch or dinner, no chatting over coffee, no invitations to pop round. It just doesn't happen. You know I think its my biggest loss, not the loss of the physical, but the loss of the smile, friendly word and companionship of others.