I've spent a lot of time shying away from support groups for various reasons. Maybe I've been unlucky in that those I have come across tend to be rather inward looking in that everyone sits around being depressed or you get a chance to go on trips organised by someone very well meaning all strapped into a minibus, or the average age is about 77. But it's also good to be able to have support from someone in your own predicament from time to time without dwelling on life too much. A mentor maybe, colleague or I prefer the best word of all, a Friend. Its my experience that fate plays funny tricks, something always pops up and of course you never expect it, but last year Fate sent me such a friend. Of course having a mutual ailment is no guarantee of friendship, but Fate also decided that we would have other mutual interests so ensuring a friendship. My friend is also old enough to be my dad which I'm sure he will not like to be reminded of, and has been paraplegic for more than 20 years, so he has 10 times more experience than me. The thing with having such a friend, and Ive hoped for some one for a while, is that sometimes you really want to be able to say My back is bloody killing me today, or I wet myself today, or Can you recommend..... and so on. I don't expect him to have any answers but I know when I say these things he knows, and I mean really knows what I'm saying. He understands that when I'm saying my back is killing me its like nothing you can think of unless you've had it, and that if my bowels and bladder really are causing me problems then its the crappiest bit of this life of all. He can empathise and understand and say the right thing. That's all. Its appreciated. Its made a very big difference to me, really and truly, and Id like to say Thank You to him for being my Friend, and also telling me the funniest and the worst jokes ever!
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