Tuesday, July 31
Lies and Damned Lies
I should be ashamed of myself as I stand or fall ( I'm full of phrases like this aren't I?!) by what I consider to be my honest and forthright outlook in life and yet at various times recently my courage fails me. I'm the type of person who would argue a point with God himself and would literally crawl over hot coals for what I consider to be right, yet as soon as someone asks me why I'm in a chair my honesty evaporates. I'm OK with people I don't know, but when it comes to people I do know or did know I'm such a chicken. I can hear myself doing it now.
' Oh you know how it is.....' I say, 'Ive a bit of a back problem.....'
'a bad back...........'
'a spinal problem..........'
'a bit of an accident.......'
I'm the queen of understatement. Because you know and I know what I should be doing is saying is the truth, but I don't. I sit and mentally squirm and wish a hole would open me up. What I'm really thinking is a. Don't feel sorry for me OK? and b. I know that you are feeling really bad for me right now but you don't need to I'm OK really. So I take this route of trying to pretend the whole thing doesnt exist or that its really not that bad after all. Its not great for my long suffering husband either as I dont think he ever knows what to say to anyone anymore. Either way its not working, but I'm not quite there yet.