Tuesday, August 8
I have big issues in my life surrounding things like trust and control. This is because I don't essentially trust people and I like to be in control. Ok, its mad to say I don't trust people because I do, but what I don't trust is the physical aspect that is now a part of my life. Being now a wheelchair user, it is inevitable that from time to time I will need help from someone in getting from A to B. This happens quite a lot in my work to be honest but also happens occsionally when I'm just going somewhere. Surprisingly I don't get my husband to help very often, this isn't because he is hopeless, far from it, but he is usually having to deal with a clingy 2 year old, and having only 1 pair of hands it means that I have to take help where I can get it. It is I have to say completely unnerving, frightening and perhaps a bit humiliating having to get several men to lift you up somewhere. Its even worse when they drop you. Because most people don't have even the first clue in lifting a wheelchair its just a recipe for disaster. At first I tried to give instructions, but I've now realised this is almost hopeless, so my strategy for dealing with this is just to hold on very very tightly and shut my eyes really hard, that way if they do drop me at least I can't see it coming.
So like I said trust is a big issue. I probably have 1 person I can think of who I know wont drop me and that is worth its weight in gold at least.