Wednesday, October 17
I feel quite low at the moment, sad and on my own. I don't feel as if I have anything much to look forward to. I don't mean in the sense of going on holiday but the long days head are unfilled, lonely and at the same time too busy. I spend my life driving the whole family from A to B while I'm just sat going nowhere. I feel that in every sense of the word. I lack a purpose or a focus in my life. I lack a reason to get up in the morning. Recently Ive just wanted to stay in bed, listen to the radio and do very little. I want to be everywhere and yet I feel as if I want to do nothing. I feel too much is asked of me but nothing is expected from me by anyone. I feel I am all things to all people and nothing much to anyone. I never get to speak to anyone and yet I long for my own company. Its a conundrum indeed.