On my way home today I called into Morrisons as I needed some nappies for my son. Now when out supermarket shopping I can just about manage to buy 3 items at a time. This is because I'm short, being now only 5'1''-I've lost an inch- and my thigh bones are short. So I only have a small lap to balance things on. Men can usually carry quite a bit more, but for us shorties its more of a challenge. Anyway back to nappies. These are awkward items, awkward not because of the size but because they are covered in plastic which makes them very slippery! So I got the nappies and they were popped in a bag by the checkout person. Actually I don't tend to use carrier bags as I try to stuff everything in my bag on the back of my chair, but nappies are just too big. So I made my way to the exit and then realised that the car park was on a slight slope. Just a bit, but enough to mean that Id need 2 hands to get back to the car. So I did something I said I would never ever do, I carried the bag between my teeth. Now I dislike doing this intently, it makes me feel stupid, embarrassed, self conscious and like the damn cripple I am. BUT needs must and all that. So as I trundled up the car park, a bag of 32 size 6 nappies hanging from my teeth, a car reverses out very very slowly driven by an old person. Obviously she hadn't seen me, but then who does these days? I could either try to get past her or with my recent run of fortune she was more likely to run me over!! I decided to stop and let her go. So there I am, sat on a slope in Morrisons car park with a bag of nappies held between my teeth. Thankyou God, Thankyou SO much. How to feel just a bit conspicuous!!! Its like I wished a hole would just swallow me up! To make matters worse a lady came up and asked me if I needed a hand, 'no thanks' I said through a mouthful of carrier bag, 'I'm just trying not to get run over'. Life but not as we know it huh?
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