Sunday, April 22
I believe my disability has made me a better parent. Now that sounds like a huge general statement to make but I really think it has made a big difference as to how I approach the whole task of being a parent. Certainly I'm amazed at the way I see people talking to and treating their children, for me even if I wanted to do shouting, swearing, hitting and generally embarrassing them it isn't an option. There is definitely no physical option for discipline. So this means we do everything on a discussion, agreement and cooperation basis, which many people would think is impossible for a 3 year old. But I'm pleased to say it works most of the time. My son is a nice boy. He talks and makes interesting conversation. We strike up deals together. He knows that if he helps me out he gets a reward, if not then he doesn't. Im very fixed in that there is no room for negotiation, but I always carry out my promises. He gets highly praised for good behaviour but ignored for bad. He knows that if I say I will sit there all day then I really will. So tantrums don't yield him results. We always discuss what we are doing, where we are going, and why. I ask him to help me out and by including him he seems to rise to the challenge and expectation. We never have hysterics and he hasn't had the terrible twos. I cant and don't do tantrums, and neither does he.
My disability has made me so much more patient, and willing to talk, listen and negotiate. I try to ask not shout orders, I reward the positive and ignore the negative, I rarely have to punish. My word is my bond and I am utterly consistent. No really does mean No.
But I'm not perfect, I'm not the perfect mother, my son is not perfect either even if I think he is. But overall hes a good boy who has a good relationship with his parents, probably because I take more time over things because of my disability.