Brief Encounter

We were pottering around Hexham today doing a bit of shopping when suddenly my GP jumped out in front of us!!!! I was a bit surprised to be honest as out of context I looked at her and thought..... 'where do I know this person from?' Anyway she said hello its me Dr............ Oh Hi I said how are you.... etc etc. She then proceeded to give me a consultation in the street!!! I feel very honoured that my medical team are literally round the corner should I need them, but I was left feeling somewhat bemused about this. I think she saw it as an opportunity to speak to me as I havent had chance to see her recently and she was keen to know how I was getting on with recent changes of fortune. Well all I can say thats really really nice, Im honestly touched by her concern.

Dawn Chorus

Its 4.30 in the morning, the birds are tweating and it looks like the sun is going to rise anytime soon. So Im sitting here having woken up feeling unwell. Looks like I have another UTI. Im less than happy about this as you can imagine, as Ive only just finished a course of antibiotics, it looks as if Im going to have to have another, and probably another and another forever and ever. etc. Seems this goes with the territory from what Ive been reading on the subject, and as Im forever washing my hands as it is, Im not sure there is much I can do to improve things. Needless to say Im not too impressed. Apparently there are other options... Im not too impressed by those, but then this isnt fun either, so lets say the other options are looking just liitle bit more inviting at this time of day.

The advantages of being disabled...or not

Are there any to start with? As a lifestyle choice, it probably isnt to be recommended, but hey if you have to live with it there are some great discounts to be had! Of course remember you have to be suitably severly disabled, not some minor difficulty, otherwise you just dont qualify!

To start with you can get a reduction in your council tax, this comes in at about 1/3rd. Then of course there is the whole parking issue, free with your blue badge and also free road tax, and if I was so inclined a car courtesy of motability. (there are strings attached to this one though). You get the pick of parking spaces assuming every one hasnt been bagged by an over 65 already. (Dont get me started on that one). A lot of visitor attractions offer free entry to the disabled person and their carer, like I have one of those of course. But if it saves £20, my husband can care for me for a day! Lots of free things from the NHS and people come to me, not the other way round! I always get my own way as no one is ever going to argue with me again are they?!! And of course there is the small amount of DLA which appears every month.

However this is little compensation for the day to day costs to be had. Firstly remember that most disabled people are unemployed, not through choice. A disabled graduate is 4x less likely to work than someone with no qualifications at all. Why? If you are living on a variety of state benefits then life is no fun at all. Frankly paying your council tax is a nightmare for most disabled people despite the fairly meagre reduction. You have to pay for a lot of your own equipment and adaptaions. The trouble is you can get grants for what the state thinks you might need but this doesnt have any relevance to what you really want. For instance Ive paid for a new memory foam mattress which is a real necessity, and also the conversion of hand controls to my own car. The motability scheme is great if you are over 65 and need a Nissan Micra, you can get that almost free. If you need a decent family sized car then you have to make a whopping deposit first. So I cant get my own car converted without paying for it myself. Madness. Of course many disabled people dont have a car in the first place because they cant afford it. So the discounts at various places are not much point because they cant get there in the first place. Sad. Its a very sad life indeed for many people. These are the lost of our society and we do absolutly nothing. When you are disabled it is so bloody difficult just leading a half normal life, why dont we value the skills that so many have instead of letting talent go to waste? See how cross Im getting.......?

What I am Learning

Patience, an awful lot of patience. I used to be the type of person, ever irritated with others because I could do it better, quicker, more efficiently. Whether that was true or not is immaterial because now there are times when I have to sit back and trust someone else.There, I am also learning to trust which is quite scary. I have to trust that if someone is pulling me up a step they will do it and not let me fall flat on my face. I am learning not to be so controlling. If we stop for coffee I have to let someone else get the drinks as even I cannot balance 2 hot cups of coffee and push myself around, Im not an octopus you know!!! Im learning not to take it personally if Im patronised, most people dont mean to do it. Im learning that despite what we think, medicine today still doesnt have all the answers or cures even though we believe this to be true. If Im asked one more time by someone 'Cant they do something?'...... ('No this is how it is, really and truly, get over it, I have.......') then my patience may suddenly vanish!! Finally Im learning that I can still do most things. Im not totally incapacitated by any means, its just that you cant always do it the way you used to and often it requires a bit of problem solving and lateral thinking. Where there is a will there is a way and I certainly have the will.

I need a drink

Im very sad to report that it looks like Im going to have to give up drinking red wine. Good grief you cry how will I manage? Indeed the world looks bleak from where Im sitting believe me!!! Now no one could describe me as a heavy drinker, but from time to time there is nothing I like better then putting my feet up and having a glass of red wine or 2... or 3...ok Ill finish the bottle!!! I have noticed that over the past few months even a small glass is giving me the most dreadful indigestion and heartburn. Its all this sitting down Im doing lately! Being Jewish of course I have always had a cast iron constitution where food is concerned, quantity and quality have never worried me. Now, just a small glass of wine gets me reaching for the Gaviscon!! Of course given the circumstances I felt compelled to try other forms of alcohol, spirits such as gin, malt whisky, vodka, various fruit liquers, a very tasty south african concoction similar to Baileys seemed fine. Then there are beers such as Guinness, cider, lagers, real ales these caused no problems. I tried alcopops, white wine, sherry, ginger wine, vermouth, advocaat, infact all of the christmas leftovers... all in the cause of research you understand, and nothing apart from red wine caused any problems. So Im feeling pretty bereft at the moment. How am I going to get through the rest of my life without another glass of Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot Pinot Noir or Syrah? And thats just to start with. So here is a picture of my favourite wine. JP Chenet, now found in Tesco all are now well priced and worth a try. So go on, try a bottle or 2 and think of me. Cheers!

Bank Holiday Blues

Given the events of the last week, it seemed only fitting that I should end it all with a really good kidney and UT infection. I thought Id just about managed to head it off, but as usual I seem to miss nothing at the moment. I woke up at 2 am in real agony, and wondering if I may or may not need to pee and should I just watch tv instead? It was a miserable night, one in which you just want the daylight to appear. Luckily I got an emergency appointment with my GP who of course saw me straight way without even a suggestion that it wait until next week. I now have a course of super strength antibiotics for the next week and naturally they may give me a bad stomach as well. Being a Bank Holiday its only right that I will be ill for at least another 3 days and therefore totally unable to participate in the usual Easter activities. Its no wonder Im feeling just a bit irritated by now!

Thankyou

Id like to say a heartfelt thanks to the 2 individuals who were kind enough to put great faith in me and provide brilliant references for a recent job application. Without these I would not have been offered the position, and I want to acknowledge your part in getting me back on track to being me again. I would not have done it without either of you, so Id like to Thank you very very much, it means everything to me.

Of course my new employers think that SuperWoman is going to walk through the door, so Im told.... now Im not sure about either of these 2 counts but is that a WonderWoman cape in my bag there!!?...

The last scrap of dignity

Lets recap shall we? Our intrepid heroine (thats me) finds she has somehow slipped into the parallel world of 'the disabled'. Unable to find a way out she learns that life isnt always what you expect and indeed is sometimes a lot worse!!

So Monday was one of those days that will go down in my diary of life events. It wasnt one that I was particularly eager to try, but hey, has anything over the last few months been what I expected?!! I arrived at the hospital to find my consultant hovering around reception waitiing for me, which I should have realised there and then was a bad sign. If they do this then they are worried about you believe me. So I was left to get changed into one of these lovely little blue gowns and then hoisted up onto the bed. First scrap of dignity went marching out the door at this point. Now Im trying hard to give you all an idea of my trials without giving just that bit too much information. So 3 tubes were stuffed into my bladder and basically Im pumped out. Total volume 900ml. This doesnt bode well as it should be around 300ml. It takes ages as well so its amazing the sort of chit chat that goes on during this time. Next stage is to fill me up again. Yep thats right I get to have water pumped in while I have to answer a set of questions. Oops some more dignity has flown away! Things like, 'Can you feel it?'.. 'Do you need to go yet?' etc etc. The answer was of course 'No' on my part, so by the time we got to 1000mls we decided that it was best to call a halt as I really didnt want to explode. Now that would be awkward! Finally I was asked if I could go.... after some thought I decided this was pretty much an impossibilty. At which point my final shred of dignity got up stalked out the door muttering about 'indignities' under its breath!! At this point Im suddenly shameless, believe me if I wasnt before I certainly am now.

The results of this were discussed in serious tones with me about what should be done, why this is happening... I do know actually, Im not dim.... and so on. Its food for thought I can tell you. Looks like Im heading for a life of complications which is bloody unfair as Im not halfway through yet.

The state of the NHS

Lets be honest we love to beat the NHS with a big stick time and time again. We enjoy reading all the horror stories in the Daily Mail and Express, and then rub our hands and tut dramatically. But spare a thought for everyone who uses it day in day out without any hitch at all. When you think about it, the NHS is probably the most important legacy of the 20th century and yet all we do is moan and moan and moan. For the most part, most of the time it works wonderfully. Without it Id probably be dead, it has saved me and given me the prospect of a great life. If we were back in 1930s Britain if I wasnt dead Id be stuck being nursed by some elderly relative in a dark bedroom for the rest of my days, because thats how it was, lets not forget it.

My favourite hospital has to be Hexham General. Heres a nice picture for you to look at. I really and truly cannot commend the staff there enough for the continued care they give me. Everyone knows me personally even the reception staff. My consultant phones me up, they wait for me when I have appointments and usher me in...hmmm maybe Im the only patient or something. I was personally greeted by my consultant yesterday, I dont even have to wait at the desk. Maybe they know something I dont? Er thats probably true I guess!!! If I have a problem I phone them up and then get asked if I can go over in an hour!!! Good grief did I say this was the NHS? Well obviously I have cracked the waiting list problem. I know, I know, having something seriously wrong with you may seem a bit drastic but it does cut down that waiting time just a little bit!!!

My Saving Grace.

One of my strongest traits is that Im extremely bloody minded. This has been I think the main thing that has saved me over the last few months. Im just so stubborn, its a case of 'my way or no way'. As far as Im concerned Im always right.... except whan Im wrong, Im controlling, bossy, wilful, high minded, dogmatic, independent, need I go on? One of the first words I learnt was 'myself' and that remains today. I will do it myself, so no thanks I dont need a push!

Being Ordinary

Ive always considered myself to be pretty ordinary. If I look back on my life so far there doesnt seem to be any great beacon of achievement. You know what I mean? I did ok at school but Im no shining academic, I played sports to county level but this hardly qualifies me into olympian status. Ive done fairly average jobs, I havent changed the world. I dont have a fortune nor am I grovellingly poor. I have a husband, son, part time job, house in the country, cars, some friends. I like music, read, play the piano a bit, watch tv more than I should, like to visit places and go on the occasional foreign trip. I dont do shopping, I love my dogs and family, like a chat with a friend, going out for tea somewhere nice, that sort of thing.

From that list there isnt much about me that makes me any different from anyone else, Im more or less pretty ordinary in a middle class english sort of way. When Im dead and gone Im not going to be remembered by anyone other than my family and hopefully a few friends. but thats ok, thats the way of the world and thats how it is with 99.99999999% of people. So what Im driving at is now I suddenly find myself not being ordinary anymore. Most people are not in my situation and thankfully most people never have my current experiences. Id be lying if I said Im not thinking 'why me?', although how you say it is all important. Im not 'running' around melodramatically shouting 'why oh why me?!', its more of a 'well whats this all about type, why me?' Since Im generally the type of person who sees the best in life... just call me Pollyanna!!!..... I hope that there really is a reason in the great scheme of things and that at least I can say now I have 'opportunities' that Id never have had otherwise.... Ha ha.

Acceptance

The best piece of advice I have been given recently is to accept what has and is happening, accept yourself and to move on. This came from someone who has first hand experience in this field. Its the only way to get on with life. Of course I have times where I rant and moan and ask 'why me'? but perhaps a better question is ' why NOT me?'. Am I any less deserving of this life, or should I judge other people more deserving to become disabled than me? Only G-d can decide this one. Perhaps he will let me know his reasoning for all this anyhow, Id like to know.

Information booklet

Oh I really love the euphamisms in these booklets. Id like captions please, they can be funny, rude or just plain sick, whatever takes your fancy... I need amusing.

'Oooooo, is that a catheter in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?!!'

A Reality Check

Take a long look at this picture here, hopefully it will be the last you see of one of these in your lifetime. Its a catheter, and yesterday I was told I will have to use this to pee as I cant do it for myself anymore. I had thought Id got away with it, I really thought this was one indignity I had been spared. I was so smug about it, catheters were not for me, oh no. Well to be honest Ive been feeling unwell for a few weeks now, and I did notice that things in this area werent great, but I didnt actually realise the total extent of the problem, because you dont to be honest. And of course a little bit of you hopes its going to improve and go away anyway.

So I had a long and miserable hospital appointment where first of all I had a full neurological examination. As was expected I was not the star pupil in this area, and it just confirmed that things are as they are. Next I had to go and pee in a jug, and this was measured. Then I had an ultrasound scan on my bladder. Its the same as when you have a scan when you are pregnant. This then told the doctor that Id only managed to get rid of 10% of an already fit to burst bladder. So that was that.

The options were very simple in that there was no option but to go down the route of self catheterisation, which means doing it at intervals during the day. If I dont my bladder will fill up, the contents will start to back up into my kidneys, Ill get infections, kidney failure and maybe die. The time scale is now as in has to be done within days not weeks as it can all happen very quickly.

I was sent home feeling ready to shoot myself. I also had with me the above sample and a booklet full of euphamisms about 'freedom and security' Should I laugh or cry at this point? Anyway you can see this in the next posting. The booklet is also sponsored by spinalnet.co.uk 'Spinal cord injury SCI healthcare information in one site' so says the blurb on the cover.Might as well slap me around the face really. Not much subtlety here.

I actually wanted to cry, and I mean really really cry, but I was so stunned that it just didnt happen. Im not sure why I was so stunned as this had been in the back of my mind for a while so I suppose deluded is a better term.

This morning I was phoned and told to go for an 'emergency' scan of my kidneys. this is not very cheery, I could do without it. And also my consultant rang... er which one was this, I have so many these days!! Anyway I have a full afternoon ahead on monday when I will get to have more tests done on my bladder and of course be taught how to use a catheter. Well what can I say about that? For once even Im rendered pretty speechless!

A difficult day

I had a very long, difficult and frankly distressing hospital appointment today. Im still thinking about it all. There are things I think you could say are very sensitive, but Id like to cover here. Im not out to upset or offend anyone, Im just tying to share the life I never thought I would have, and Im a firm believer that if we talk about things then we no longer have the fear of the unknown. Anyway Im still mulling things over, so bear with me, Ill be back in a short while.

Phone calls

In a sudden flash of inspiration I realised why I miss most of the calls on my mobile today. I have the volume set at a discrete level, not too loud, but ok most of the time. I always used to rely on the vibrate which is excellent. Now where do I keep my phone? In my trouser pocket of course doesnt everyone? Yep but how the hell am I supposed to feel it vibrate if Im sitting on it?!! Doh!! How dumb is that?

So whats wrong with you?

I dont actually mind telling people about me and how it is that I am as I am. Good job really I suppose otherwise I wouldnt be doing this! I tend to think that life is constant education, if I meet someone disabled then Im as curious as anyone else, so if they tell me about it then Im educated too. So really I dont have problem and tend to try to be as honest as possible, perhaps you'd noticed!? What Im not used to is the direct question. We are all terribly polite in Britain and it isnt really our way to ask bluntly what happened to someone. I try to throw bits of useful information into a conversation that sort of flags things up to people that Im ok with the situation, that they can ask me if they want to etc etc. It works well most of the time, but sometimes they beat me to it. 'So did this happen before you became disabled?' I was asked............'What!!??????' goes my brain..... can we have that again?! Big alarm bells fly around my head as I go ' errrr, arghh... well... cough... splutter..... splutter........' Then I feel myself go bright red... which I really hate, because Im more embarrassed because Im embarrassed, and hey Im trying to be so cool and laid back about the situation and now Im sitting looking as red as Ronald Macdonald. I havent really processed 'before' mentally so the cogs are turning real slow at this point. ' Oh Sure'.. I sort of squeak and mumble at the same time..... 'Yes, well, errr'. Is that the end of the conversation or is the person looking for me to volunteer more information? I just cant tell which makes me feel even worse as the conversation trails away...........................................

Being warped...

Who said I have a warped sense of humour, c'mon own up who was it?!! Warped me? Ok I admit that perhaps my humour is a little perverse at times, right well maybe a lot perverse, but as I see it there are 3 options here.

1. Bitter and twisted
2. Tearful and full of self pity
3. Warped but alive and kicking.

Well I have already shed a bucket load and more of tears in pity, frustration, anger and fear, and there arent any left so Im going to forget about that one. Ive never done bitter and twisted because life is too short and nearly all of us carry with us our own private tragedy, so why should I be any different? So that leaves the third option. Yep, warped humour sounds good to me, Im alive, kicking and will be forever while Im on this earth! (Cue manic laughter here........................................................)

What are you listening to?

There is tendency to remember lifes events when we hear certain songs because they are so evocative of a bygone time for good and bad. Like smells you never forget them, they are intrinsically linked to the memory bit of your brain for some reason. I have loads of these songs that not only remind me of general times, but even very specific events like sitting and talking to someone I havent seen for a long time now. Anyway what am I listening to at the moment? What will remind me of this time of my life in 10 years time? Here is a little list of things I have on in the car;

1. Sailing to Philadelphia - Mark Knopfler
2. Solitary Man- Neil Diamond
3. True faith- New Order
4. Wise Men- James Blunt
5. The Great Beyond -REM
6. Spem in Allium - Thomas Tallis
7. Lark Ascending- Vaughan Williams
8. Missing You -Christy Moore
9. When all is said and done - Abba
10. I wont back down-Tom Petty

Not the most cheerful collection I suppose looking at it now, but I think all pretty worthy. Ok New Order is an aberation but it reminds be of better times. I like a song that tells a story, and some have appropriate words. You can guess which ones if you like. Anyway if you are not familiar with any of these, go and investigate. I particularly recommend my taste in classical music to you.

Technical Info.

Here is a nice picture of the spinal cord that Ive pinched from another site. See, Im shameless? Now there are several technical terms for spinal cord injury, read and digest I shall test you all later!!! First there are complete and incomplete injuries. Complete injuries are when for all purposes the cord is cut (not exactly, but think of it like that), and thats it then, nothing below the level of injury, ever ever ever. Then there are the incomplete injuries. These occur when there is partial damage to the spinal cord but not complete. So some bits still work below the level of injury, it may get better, may get worse. With me so far? Next there is the level of injury, ie. where it happens in your back. The spine is made up of cervical, thoracic, lumbar and sacral regions. The higher the injury the worse it is. Mine is occurring at between T11 and 12. You can see on the diagram. So its not that bad in the scale of things, Im pretty much intact and bits still work to a greater or lesser extent, or so Ive thought.... I had a letter from my consultant a couple of weeks ago which was a copy of the one he sent my GP. I always ask for a copy because when they talk to you, I find all I hear is 'blah blah blah', Im too busy chewing it all over in my head to digest it really. Anyway seems Im not actually as good as I thought and his prognosis is that Im going to get worse and lose some of the function that I have at the moment. Thats a real shit to be honest, just when you think it wont get ny worse it will. So Id better make the most of what I have while I still have it I guess.

The blue badge scheme

In the future we will look back on the blue badge scheme and think Ah 'it was the best of schemes, it was the worst of schemes...'. I love it and hate it in equal measure. Personally I think there should be several levels of badge, because I really really wonder who this scheme is for? One of my favoured pastimes is sitting in the car park of our local Tescos. I do this while I have sent my husband off for a couple of items and its quicker for him to do it than me. Anyway I like to sit and have a good look at the disabled bays in particular. Now Im ageist and I admit it, but Im always amazed at the number of over 60s who hog all the bays to start with and then jump out of their cars and trot into the shop with great gusto. 20 minutes later they emerge with armfuls of shopping, fling it into the car before heading off. Such speed, such dexterity... I should be so lucky. In that time Im still getting out the damn car!! Anyway if they can do all this do they really need a badge and is being over 60 and having a bit of osteoarthritis an automatic yes for a badge these days? Parking Services reveal all please!

The other thing I have about disabled bays is not all of them have the extra space at the back and side of the vehicle. I have a big whinge about this. Its not how near you have the bay to the entrance of the store, its how much space you have thats important. I CANNOT get out of a car that doesnt have extra space. I have to fling the car door wide open, throw my chair out, stick the wheels on, and plonk myslf in it. What a palava!! Takes a few minutes at my guestimate, can take a few more if Im tired. So my solution is to have the disabled bays at the far end of the car park where wheelchair users can get to them freely. Who cares if you have to roll over to the entrance a bit further, and that way the overs 60 wont park in them for hours. Grrrrrrrr!

Floppy Feet

Ok as promsed here is a little posting on the state of my feet. Heres a picture of them. You dont have to look away, dont worry, I know some feet can be pretty gross, but these are ok. You will see that they are not very straight. Infact I did previously describe them as having the muscle tone of 3 day old trout and this sort of sums them up pretty well. I would certainly expect to find them on a fish counter somewhere!! As far as feet go they are not much use these days. They turn in a lot and I really cant straighten them out, hence the fact I use braces. As for footwear, I suppose Im going to save quite a bit over the years as I cant see that Im going to be wearing many pairs of shoes out. Thing is Im sort of limited to what I can wear. Boots are about the best and I can sometimes get away without the braces if I wear boots and am not planning to do any standing up. They hold my ankles together pretty well. The other problem I have is that if Im not careful I tend to get my toes squashed under my foot ( left in particular) and dont realise it. Then after a day of poor blood supply, my toes end up at best sore and blue.

To lose ones ability to walk, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose ones toes as well looks like carelessness! Thanks to Oscar Wilde

Growing Up

When do we eventually realise we have grown up? Some people perhaps never do , but where is that point for the majority of us? What does it take for us to realise we have left things behind us and now we have to stand alone? When we leave home perhaps? No, what about when we get married? Sort of, we are on the way. Having children? This certainly is a pretty growing up sort of event. We are no longet the youngest members of the family, there is a new an upcoming generation, or what about when we lose our parents? For many people this is the time when we really do have to stand alone. For me it has taken all these years and still I never felt really grown up. Somewhere inside me was an 18 year old still hiding, harbouring all those teenage insecurities. But over recent times suddenly I feel that I have changed. I feel older and also wiser, older than maybe my years, old before my time. I dont look it but I really do feel grown up, I actually feel more grown up than people older than me. Lifes experiences bring us hopefully wisdom. If we can truly grow then we must always try to learn from what is thrown at us.

Legs 11

Ive developed a bit of a morbid fascination with my legs. Its probably because they are not what they once were. I used to be the embarrassed owner of chunky fat short ones which try as I might I could never hide! Now it seems by the day they are vanishing before my eyes!!! So you see there are some advantages to being paraplegic! Thinner legs.... does this mean my bum will start to vanish as well? I should be so lucky. Knowing my luck Ill probably end up with spindly thin legs and still have an enormous backside!! Certainly curious. My legs have become somewhat detached from the rest of me. Its absolutly weird in that they are there, and they are not. When Im in bed at night Im not sure where they are, or what they are doing...could be walking Hadrians wall for all I know. My feet on the other hand are still attached, but send completely wrong signals. For the most part they think Im standing in a bucket of iced water, which is very uncomfortable I can tell you. And while we are talking about bits of me, Im more or less numb from my belly button downwards, which is very strange. Although having said that I get a load of muscle spasms which I describe as being flicked with a rubber band. OUCH! It can be pretty sharp at times. Anyway heres a picture to be going on with and next time we can talk about my feet. Theres something to look forward to!!

Wheelchair Gardening

Ever done any wheelchair gardening? Believe it or not neither have I, but with spring now sprung, I intend to give it a go. Im not sure I could actually manage to dig up the beds but I can certainly plant things and do some weeding for sure. One of my projects for this week is to get into pots some of my vast hoard of poppy seeds that I have been collecting for some time and see if I can get them to germinate. Not many people know that I have a huge collection of different types that I have stolen from other gardens over the years!! As Im now a bit conspicuous I dont really see myself popping into someone elses garden much these days, so Id better get about growing my own.

What weekend?

Its been one of those w/e's when everything you planned to do was thrown out of the window. First my son decided to have an upset stomach to the point of projectile vomiting... and I mean projectile!! It started Friday morning when Im in bed with him, and hes obviously not too well. Made the fatal error of giving him a cup of milk.... you know what came next!!... He chucked the whole lot back all over me! Now its bad enough when you can jump up out the way quickly, when you have limited mobility you just have to lie there and take whatever comes your way....so Im shouting ' help, help' and laughing,(because what else can you do?) until my husband appeared to mop us up! Anyway the day was a right off, and he repeated the same thing Saturday morning!! So we spent the whole day on the sofa watching childrens tv.

As well as that I have had such awful back pain that it has reduced me to almost silence. No mean feat in my case! I feel as if Ive had my kidneys hacked out of my back with a spoon, and then been almost kicked to death for good measure. I even shed a few tears which is most unlike me. So there we have it, a very unproductive w/e. Roll on the coming week. I have to look forward to this week, a meeting on Monday evening, piano being delivered tuesday,lunch with a German friend on Wednesday, a dreaded hospital appointment on Thursday, and I suppose Ill have to think about shopping on Friday. Mmmmmmmmm Great!